How to Not Get Hired

I would think this is an unstated rule, but apparently not. So I will spell it out.

WHEN YOU GO INTO A BUSINESS TO APPLY FOR A JOB, YOU SHOULD NOT BE RUDE/NEEDY/DISTRACTING TO THE EMPLOYEES.

I was working a Friday about a month ago when this guy came in to apply for a job. Now, Fridays in August kind of suck. Because everyone has to get married in the summer (so unoriginal), we had 4 wedding groups arriving that day. This day was particularly busy. About the half the arrivals for the day actually checked in before 3pm (check-in time) because wedding guests think they are entitled to check in early. Otherwise, how are they going to get dressed?!? And do their hair?!? I don't know, nor do I care. It's not my problem.

But anyway, back to the guy, who was a problem. My co-worker was checking someone else in when he comes up to me to ask a question. Now, our job application is very standard. I can't even remember what he asked anymore, but it was very self-explanatory. I gave him some perfunctory answer so he moves on to another section and another question. By this time, a line is building up behind him. He, of course, is oblivious to this fact.

So I tell him, trying to be polite, that I have to help the guests and I'll help him when I can. Then I tilt my head to the side, trying to indicate that he should move away.

He stares at me blankly. I motion with my head again, staring at him and not saying anything. He stands there for another few seconds before moving, and I call out the the next woman standing in line "Hi, how are you?"

She approaches me tentatively. "You can help me?" And I realize she heard me tell the man to go away (in essence) and of course she doesn't know what he's here for. I am not pleased. I tell her yes, i can help her, and say the man is here applying for a job and I'll assist him later.

I tell my supervisor (who is in charge on hiring) about him when I bring the application back. Needless to say, he didn't get the job.

Ma'am

This person is probably the biggest psycho I have met in my short hotel career. This is a very long story, so I'll just hit my favorite highlight right now.

Me: "Ma'am-"
Guest: "Don't call me that! My name's not 'ma'am'. Is your name 'ma'am'?
Me: No.

I continued to call her 'ma'am' for the rest of the phone call. I didn't think she'd like my alternative choice any better.

Bedding Cycles

I don't know what it is with people and the telephone. We get so many weirdos. Case in point:

Caller: I wanted to know the last time your rooms were renovated.

Me: Five years ago, ma'am. The hotel was completely gutted, everything rebuilt.

Caller: So the bedding in your rooms is five years old?

Me: Umm...the age of the bedding would vary by room. Bedding is replaced as needed.

Caller: But the furniture is five years old.

Me: Yes.

Caller: Okay. How long are those bedding cycles?

Me: (long pause) I don't know. I would have to check with housekeeping.

Did she seriously expect me to know the answer to that question?

Another Telephone Pet Peeve

Answering the telephone at work yields an endless realm of possibilities. Sometimes it's an enjoyable experience - you help people change reservations, choose rooms, correct mistakes. Other times, less so.

Me: Good morning, thank you for calling -----. This is ----- speaking, how may I assist you?

Caller: Yeah, I wanted to know how far you are from [insert random small town that I've never heard of here].

Me: Umm...I'm not really sure, to be honest. Where's that located? (caller gives more detail, I still don't know) I'm not familiar with that town, sorry. (I wouldn't mind looking it up, but the computers at work are incredibly slow)

Caller: Oh, okay. I'll just look it up on the computer.

End call. And the reason they didn't just look it up to begin with? Unknown.

Dumb Question of the Day

This week has been busy. My hotel is a business hotel, but with this week being considered a "holiday" week and all, we have a lot of leisure travelers. Leisure travelers who miss breakfast (no, you cannot lounge in your room until 11 and then get upset breakfast isn't still being served), call down repeatedly to ask for things, need directions to get everywhere, need suggestions for entertainment...busy times.

So today, I was fairly busy at the desk. A guest approaches the side of it and I walk over to him. I wasn't able to pay attention to the entire lobby at that point and there had no idea where he came from. He was holding two Kit-Kats.

Him: Are these for sale?
I was momentarily stumped by this question. I mean, if he got them from the market, of course they're for sale - they're not free. But I would assume someone would know that and not ask such an asinine question.
Me: Excuse me? (at this point, I was hoping he would expand on his question. Alas, he did not.)
Him: Are these for sale?
Me: Did you get them from the market?
Him: (looking at me like I'm an idiot) Yes.
Me; Then yes, they're for sale. That will be three dollars.

Seriously?

Late Check-Outs

Anyone sensing a theme with my blog posts lately? I am. I suppose it's because I usually work mornings and therefore don't really deal much with guests when they're having problems with the internet, AC, internet, door locks, internet, number of towels in the room, and internet. Oh, and did I mention the internet?

But, anyway, late check-outs. These have been occurring more and more frequently lately as people try to stay later to spend more time at the pool. My hotel already has a pretty generous check-out time of 12 PM, so this can be somewhat irritating, especially to the housekeeping staff. Especially when several rooms are in the same area. This means the housekeeper doing that section has to wait for all those people to leave.

When people ask for late check-out, I ask them how late they'd like to stay. The response I am not looking for? "Well, what's the latest we can check out?" We can give till 2, but I usually say 1:30. By the time people actually leave, it's 2 anyway.

I encountered a lovely woman a few weeks ago. Just charming, really. She called down to ask for a late check-out, and I asked her what time she wanted until.

"Oh, 2 or 3."

"2's the latest I can do, ma'am."

She heaves a sigh but agrees to 2. At 2:30 I'm checking on those last few check-outs with the head housekeeper, and she tells me the woman is not gone.

"What do you mean she's not gone? She's still in the room?" It's confirmed for me that she is nowhere to be found, but all her stuff is still in there.

At 2:45, the woman comes wandering into the lobby, dressed in a pool cover-up, telling me her keys aren't working. I ask for her name and pull her up on the computer. The keys wouldn't be working either way, since they expire just after check-out time, but she doesn't know that.

"Yes, Ms. ----, let me get you new keys. I see we had you checking out at 2?"

"Well, I'm a (insert level here) rewards member. I get late check-out."

Deep breath. "Yes ma'am, you do get late check-out. Up to what the hotel can accomodate. Housekeeping has to clean the room."

"Well, there are lots of people who still have stuff in their rooms!"

Completely untrue, irrelevant, and also - a bad argument. If she had told me everyone else checked out, so clean their rooms first, that might make more sense. But telling me everyone else is doing it too? First, I've checked everyone else out, so I know that's not true. Second - are we in kindergarten now? Aren't you too old to compare your obnoxious behavior to other people's?

She goes to leave. I still haven't said anything in response to her latest claim, and have no plans to. But she just has to throw out one more remark before she goes.

"And we'll leave when we want to!"

Pre Check-in?

I don't understand why people seem to think the check-in process is so arduous. It's not. Here's how it goes - a person comes in, I greet them, get their name, check their rate and the number of nights they're here, swipe their credit card, get them their keys, and they're on their way. If the person doesn't ask ten thousand questions about the hotel and the surrounding area as they check in, this process can take less than a minute. And yet, people seem to think it's so difficult. They also don't seem to understand what "check-in" means.

I was at the desk last week when someone arrives. At 8 AM. We have nothing available, which I tell him and apologize for. I tell him we'll have something around 12 or 1, if he wants to come back later. He doesn't seem thrilled, but what did he expect? It was 8 in the morning. So he's all set to leave and come back later, but first he has one more question for me. "Can I check in now and get my keys later?"

Sigh. Why do people always ask this? When you check in to a hotel, it's a type of exchange. You give me payment, I give you keys. I also assign you to a room at check-in. If there are no clean rooms, I cannot check you in. Because where am I going to direct the computer to put you? And no, I cannot check you into a dirty room.

I told him no, just as one of the managers was walking by. After he leaves, she tells me I should soften my response and apologize, explain...exactly what I did when he first came in.

There are no check-ins without clean rooms. Why is that so difficult to understand?

Early Check-In

Early check-in is a bit of a pet peeve of mine. Don't get me wrong, if I have a room free and you come in early, you can have it. We don't make people wait till 3. But when people make a reservation, my hotel chain gives them to option to check early check-in as a request. This is a request. It's not guaranteed. Additionally, so many people check off this request and then don't come early that it's essentially useless. I usually ignore it unless the person has called in to request early check-in. And then there are the ones who do neither.

I checked in a woman last week. Comes up to the front at 11:30am.
Woman: Checking in.
Me: Your name? (she gives me her name, and I pull up her reservation. The room isn't ready, and since she's part of a wedding group I'm not moving her to a higher floor so the non-wedding guests can be disturbed at 2 in the morning. I look for other rooms on that floor, nothing). I don't have any rooms available just yet. I can check with housekeeping, hopefully I can have something ready in about an hour?
Woman: Well, why isn't the room ready now?
Me: Umm, check-in's at 3. I have housekeeping working on early check-in rooms (which I did, for people who had requested them), but we don't have you here as requesting an early check-in.
Woman: I didn't know I needed to request an early check-in!

Well, then how are we supposed to know you're coming early? I'm sorry, my psychic abilities aren't working today, try again tomorrow. Yesterday a woman (who had actually checked off that early check-in request) came in at 8:30am, and my manager fell all over herself apologizing that we didn't have any rooms available because we had sold out the night before. Don't be sorry, it's 8:30 in the morning! Check-out isn't even till noon!

I love it when people come in so early (before 12, I would say), and I go: Let me see what I have available. They think I'm talking about reservations, and say: No, I have a reservation. Me: Yes, I see that, but check-in's not till 3. Them: But I requested an early check-in.

Early check-in is never, ever, GUARANTEED! Especially if you have a request for connecting or side-by-side rooms. If you call to confirm your connecting request and I say we have one set of rooms in the hotel that can accommodate that, do not traipse in with five suitcases at 11am unless you've called to confirm. Because I can practically promise it won't be ready.

And don't even get me started on the people who won't give me the time they want (probably because it's ridiculously early and they know I won't do it), but instead turn it around on me. I originally wrote the below conversation as Joe Smith, but then changed it because it is invariably a woman who does this.

Jane: Hi, this is Jane Smith. I'm coming in this Friday, and wanted to request an early check-in.
Me: Okay, let me put in that request for you. What time did you want to arrive?
Jane: Well, what's the earliest time I can check-in?

For those who really want to know, I would consider an early check-in 12pm. Not before.

The Customer Is Not Always Right

(an old post that I never finished, so my math is now off. whatever)

In fact, the customer is almost always wrong. Particularly when they try to insist they know the hotel better than I do. Look, lady, I may have only worked here three months (almost four now, actually), but I'm here 40 hours a week, as opposed to the two days you spent here last year. That means I've spent about a month of my life in this hotel. Seriously. 40 hours a week times about 16 weeks equals 640 hours. Divide that by 24 and you get ~27 days. Wow, that's depressing.

But anyway, this woman comes in for a business meeting being held at our hotel, and asks for a smoking room. I inform her that we don't have smoking rooms, but offer to put her near an exit. Best I can do. Well, she turns into a major bitch. She insists that we have smoking rooms, and says last year when she was here she had a smoking room. I pull up her previous reservation and there's no note about smoking. Plus, we're a completely non-smoking hotel.

Despite both myself and my coworker saying that we're non-smoking, she says we're wrong. We both repeat that the hotel is completely non-smoking and the fine is $250 for smoking in the room. She says she doesn't care. Then (since her company was paying for the room & tax), when I ask her for a credit card for incidentals, she tries to get out of giving me one. Uh-huh. You tell me you're going to smoke in the room and you think you're not giving me a credit card to charge when you do? No way. She says she's going to talk to the person in charge of her business meeting, since she knows she requested a smoking room for her.

When I told the GM about it that afternoon, he tells me that after all that, if she still smokes in the room, we'll throw her out and charge her $250 for each day she smoked. Ha! After being such a bitch, she would deserve it.

Ultimately, it didn't come to that. She spoke to the leader of her group, who spoke to our sales team and confirmed the hotel is non-smoking. And then she came by the desk and told me that the smoking hotel she stayed at last year was a different property, not ours (obviously).

And Counting!

54 days of work left to go!!! (yes, I am staring a countdown. I need to get out of this place.)

Not Hotel-Related, But...

Who thinks that a valid excuse for doing poorly on an SAT practice test is: "There were lots of girls in the room and I couldn't concentrate"?

Not me!

I May Sound Like An Ass Here, But...

I'm smarter than my boss. She knows it and I know it. And it's not that I can't respect someone who's not as smart as me. Really, it's not. Especially if you consider that lesser intelligence in the context of more experience in this industry than I have. I consider that experience something I can learn from. After all, don't we all have new things we can learn? Of course we do. I love knowledge. The day I stop learning is the day I die. The problem is, she does not feel that way.

Each day, the morning shift at a hotel blocks guests into rooms. What this means is that we select a room for a guest based on their requests. Connecting rooms, high floor, first floor, quiet area, smoking (not permitted, so they go near an exit). We go through and block accordingly, based on that day's arrivals. However, for some reason our system was doing something very unfortunate in that it was automatically blocking rooms with no consideration to guest preferences. So my supervisor comes out one morning and asks if we are blocking according to requests. I say, yes, we are, and she asks why the rooms guests are currently in don't match their requests. Wellll, that would be because the system blocks automatically and I haven't gone through to fix it yet.

"What do you mean the system blocks automatically? That doesn't make any sense. Someone had to set that up."
I pull up the screen to show her, unblocking several rooms and showing her how the system automatically reblocks. Which she ignores
"That doesn't make any sense. The system doesn't do that."
She goes back into the office, and I ask my coworker what exactly there is to not understand. This isn't brain surgery. Her response: she doesn't want to understand.

I received similar responses from both my parents - apparently I am showing up my supervisor with my superior knowledge of the system, and she doesn't like it. But anyway, I go to the help for our system and figure out how to stop the automatic blocking. Then I tell the GM that I've stopped it. He lets my immediate supervisor know this, and she tells him that the morning shift haven't been responding to requests when rooms are blocked, and that's the problem with the blocking, nothing else.

I heard about this because someone else was in the back office at the time - I didn't hear it directly. And at first I shrugged it off, but the more I think about it, the more pissed off I am. How dare she tell my GM a flat-out lie about me, especially after I explained the problem to her and she decided she didn't want to understand? So I've decided to talk to him tomorrow. And I don't care if it makes her look bad. I'm not going to be here that much longer anyway!

***PS - I know I haven't been posting much lately. Nothing happened at work to make me feel this way, but I become paranoid about being caught. Fellow bloggers, how do you manage to stay anonymous and still tell specific stories about your job?

Be Professional

I rarely write about my co-workers or managers on this blog. This is for two reasons: one, I am worried that one day one of them will stumble upon my blog and recognize descriptions of themselves and two, I likely most of the people I work with. There is one person I am not such a big fan, though. This would be my immediate supervisor, whose title will not be disclosed for reason #1 above.

I am normally the kind of person who gets along with everyone, but she irritates me. The reason for this? I hate liars. Hate hate hate. With a passion. In case you cannot tell, I am a very honest (read: blunt) person. And I consider hypocrites to be liars. And she is one of the biggest hypocrites I've ever met. And closed-minded.

When you talk to her, it's like there's only one acceptable attitude. One acceptable viewpoint. One acceptable way to do things. Any suggestions are shot down. I was talking about my old hotel the other day and she says, "You aren't there anymore, you're here. We're not them. We do things this way here." And yes, they were a less organized property, but that doesn't mean there's nothing that can be learned from them.

And then there's her personality - childish and unprofessional. It's really amazing that she's gotten to this point in her hotel career considering how incredibly petty she is. She is the type of person who holds grudges. And plays favorites. So when her favorite front desk person called out sick and the person who had to cover wasn't happy about it and spoke to the GM, she gave them the cold shoulder, then called them into her office and talked about how she doesn't play favorites. Uh huh. It's like, this is a business. Be professional. If you can't do that, go back to kindergarten and learn how to play nice with other people. It's gotten to the point that I really look forward to the days she's not there.

Why America's Going Downhill

Yes, I know it's been a while since I've written. I've been pretty busy working 70-hour weeks and trying to choose a law school for next year (actually, I've decided. but for my father's sanity, i am "weighing my options"). But this guy's story just begged to be told.

He came in Sunday, and for whatever reason was booked in a suite. Probably because we were sold out this week. He came in Monday to ask about breakfast, but that's a whole different story in itself. So he's in a suite, and at first he tried feeding us this crap about how he "thought all the rooms were like that" and he "didn't realize he was in a suite". Riiight. So he wants a lower rate, but he doesn't want to change rooms. That's not happening. The afternoon shift yesterday tried to get in touch with him all evening, but he wasn't picking up. So guess who gets to deal with this guy when he finally gets all his messages? Me.

He called down this morning and said he didn't understand what the messages were saying. I pull up his reservation and recognize the booking - the guy who wants neither to move nor to pay. I tell him we'd be happy to move him into a new room, and he says that's what he wants. But he's running late and wants to know if housekeeping can move his things for him.

We're really not supposed to do that. No one from the hotel is supposed to move a guest's belongings because the hotel is liable if something is missing. But we've been trying to resolve this problem for a few days, and we've done it before, so I say yes, and tell him they'll move his belongings as long as everything's packed up.

Guest: "So they'll move my stuff for me?"
Me: "As long as everything's packed up, yes."

I repeated this because it was very important that everything be packed. Housekeeping won't/can't gather up and move toiletries, clothes, etc. Additionally, my tone was totally neutral as I said this. Sometimes I say something to a guest and wish later I'd phrased it a little more decorously. But going over it again, I wouldn't say anything differently. But apparently this struck a nerve.

Guest (nastily, in case anyone was thinking otherwise): "You just told me that. You don't have to tell me again. I heard you. And you don't have to be so rude about it."
Me (somewhat surprised on the other end): "I said it again because housekeeping can't move your belongings unless everything is packed."
Guest: "Then you should have said that instead of being so rude! This is why America's going downhill! Everyone in the service industry is so rude! No one knows good service anymore!"

And so on, with several more comments about how rude I was. I think he was hoping for an apology, but I refuse to apologize to such an asshole - especially over nothing. My coworker said I should have told him it was inappropriate to speak to me that way, and I should have, but at that point I was a little stunned. I don't think I've ever dealt with such a nasty, unreasonable guest.

And he thinks the service industry is leading America to its downfall? Methinks otherwise.

Private Things Should Be Done In Private

At my old hotel, I once read a GSS (guest satisfaction survey) that said our public computer should be in a more private area. It was in a very public space - by the front desk, next to the breakfast area door, so anyone who walked by could see the screen - but who cares? These computers are for essential internet usage: checking email, looking up directions, printing out work documents. They aren't there so people can spend hours on Facebook, Twitter, or whatever other social networking site you use to inform people that you're cleaning the house today. Upon reading this GSS, my manager remarked, "What does he need privacy for? So he can watch porn in the lobby?" Apparently, that's exactly what he needed it for.

At my current hotel, we have a business center with two computers, and a wall shielding the space from the rest of the lobby. Last week, my co-worker walked back there and returned to inform me excitedly that a guest was watching porn on one of the computers. Needless to say, I was surprised - though perhaps I shouldn't be, since the only pay movies the guests watch are porn.

"How can he even get to that?" I asked. "Isn't it blocked?"

Our AGM told us grimly that it should be, and she was calling internet support to find out why it wasn't. And that guest became known as "the guy who watched porn in the business center."

Seriously, do your private business in private.

Another Strange Phone Call

Why is it that there are so many weirdos who call my hotel? Is it that phone calls give them the safety of anonymity, so they can't see me laughing at them (not that I actually do that in front of guests)? Maybe it was a joke - I hope so, but I doubt it.

So this guy calls today, tells me he's from some travel website I've never heard of. I tried looking it up later and I don't think it was legit, so maybe it was a joke. But anyway, he tells me that he recently stayed and took some pictures for his website. Only problem is, he missed the breakfast area. So he wants me to "take a couple pictures with my cell phone and send them to his phone."

"Excuse me?"

He repeats himself. I briefly consider sending the phone call to my manager, but decide I will assist with this ridiculousness. I tell him no, but there are pictures of the breakfast room on our website that he can use.

Yes, he says, but they don't really reflect the actual lighting, and they make the space look bigger than it is. And a picture taken with a cell phone will give a more accurate rendering? Plus, I've gathered from what he's saying that he thinks the pictures on our site look too good, so he thinks an employee of the hotel will send him pictures to make it look worse? No. At times, I may not like my job, but that doesn't mean I want to lose it. I tell him, sorry, but no. He thanks me and hangs up.

That had to be a joke, right?

A Public Service Announcement

Greetings, readers. This is a public service announcement brought to you by your friendly FrontDeskGirl. A warning before I start - this has nothing to do with hotels, so if you're not interested, stop reading now.

I work at the front desk of a hotel. I also work as an SAT tutor. I don't usually do tutoring on my own; instead, I work for a local learning center. And I have to say, I am horrified at what our schools are producing. And before all of you jump down my throat for saying that, consider this - bright, academically inclined people will do well in any school. It is how our schools teach the not-so-academically inclined children that is the real test of their effectiveness. And from what I see, that isn't very effective at all.

I had an 11th grader come in who could barely read. A girl who, when I said the SAT is designed as an objective test, asked me what the word objective meant. Another student who couldn't recognize exponents. One couldn't tell me the difference between "it's" and "its".

So, my PSA announcement is this. Parents, make your children READ. Yes, I said make (as in force) them. And I don't care if that stifles their independence or creativity or whatever the fuck child psychologists say it is they need these days. Otherwise, your child will be coming to see someone like me when it's time for the SATs. And no matter how good I am, I can't make up 5 years of vocabulary, reading skills, and grammar knowledge in 5 months. Don't worry about the math for now - a lot of that can be taught. What is hard to teach is reading comprehension and vocabulary - because those are skills your kid should have been building his whole life! It doesn't matter what it is they read - just that they're reading.

So make them start. Today. I may start crying if I see many more kids like this.

Complaining and Why You Should Do It

Yes, readers, you read the title of this post correctly. People should complain when they are unhappy, and here's why.

This morning, a guest came to the front desk wanting to change rooms. When someone wants to change rooms, I will ask if there's a problem with the room, so maintenance can take a look if there is, but otherwise I don't care why. If people want to move, they can move. Whatever.

So this guy came to the front and tells us his neighbor must have sleep apnea because he kept him up all night with his snoring. Our walls are not that thin, so this neighbor must have been really loud. I find the guest a new room in a corner, so only one neighbor, and he thanks me. I then took him on the shuttle, and he thanked me again. He seemed somewhat apologetic about wanting to move, but he shouldn't have been. I was happy to move him - because I want the guests to have an enjoyable stay.

Look, people, you go and stay at a hotel, eat at a restaurant, really anything in the hospitality industry - the staff there want you to be happy. Do you think I want a guest to leave having had a miserable experience? No. And that is why you should complain - so we can fix it promptly and you can leave happy.

There was a woman who came to the front Monday morning with a laundry list of complaints - no refrigerator in the room, the tap water wasn't clear, and a few other things that aren't important enough for me to remember. We look up her bill and I see she was comped Friday night due to the New Year's Eve noise next door. Then the front desk person who comped her Saturday morning came by, and I tell her this woman came to the front to complain.

"She came down to complain again?" she said incredulously. "About what?"
I shrug. "She said there was no refrigerator in her room."
"She never said anything about that to me!"

Of course she didn't. Either she was biding her time so she could get more money taken off, or she didn't want to complain. I'm guessing the former is more likely. But had she complained, she would have either been moved, or the issues in her room would have been fixed. Then she wouldn't have had such a bad experience during her 25th* (her words) stay at our hotel.

So, please, complain. That's kind of why we're here.

*How many times did she actually stay previously? Five.

Employee Rate

There are two kinds of people that use the employee/family and friends rate. Some are actual employees. They usually go out of their way to be as little trouble as possible. I once had someone call from the next county over, on a highway that I'm not really familiar with. I got on Google Maps to try and help, and the entire time the woman was asking if I needed to go, very understanding about being put on hold, and just so nice. I marveled at these people, and when they arrived I realized the reason behind it.

The second type are the exact opposite. Pain in the ass, no knowledge about hotels (which confuses me), and generally just very time-consuming. I worked New Year's Eve, and for some reason there were a lot of people staying with the employee/friends and family rate. One guy in particular kept me on the phone for 10 minutes asking stupid questions. He called to confirm his reservation, two queen beds, and after I confirmed for him he said he had some questions.

Question 1: The parking, is there parking?
Me: Yes, there's parking. (He starts to speak and I cut in to add) Free parking.
Him: Okay, but does it matter how many cars I have?
Me: No, it doesn't.
Question #2: Okay, so I'm leaving early tomorrow morning, but the rest of my family is going to stay in the room later. Will I be charged a fee if I don't come check out myself?
Me: No, sir. You'll give us a credit card when you check in, and they'll put the bill under your door tonight. You can just leave the keys in the room.
Him: So I won't be charged a fee?
Me: (Isn't that what I just said?) No, you won't.
Him: And I wanted to pay with cash, not a credit card.
Me: Okay, well that's fine. You can pay with cash when you check in.
Question #3: But how much of a deposit do I have to leave?
Me: Fifty dollars.
Him: Really? I called before and they told me $250.
Me: Umm, no, it's fifty dollars.
Him: Really? Then why would they tell me that before? You guys all say different things!
Me: Well, if you like you can give us a credit card as a deposit and it'll place a small hold on that, which will be returned to you after you check out.
Him: Maybe I'll do that. So it will take a deposit and then I can come get that when I check out?
Me: No, it's a hold on your credit card. It'll come off in three to five business days.

And so on. He arrived, I checked him in, and he requests to not have neighbors and to be near a door. The second one I could do, the first, denied. Then his wife calls down with a request for a rollaway. We don't have them, so, denied. Then he calls down and the other front desk person picks up, this time to tell him that no, we don't have any rollaways, Nor do we have a room with two queens and a pullout sofa.

Then there was the travel agent who called five times, and the various people who tried to throw parties in the hotel. I guess I'll find out today if their attempts were successful.