Greedy Missionaries

Perhaps you think this post's title is an oxymoron, no? No, dear readers, it is not. Tonight, I checked in three rooms of missionaries. First off, I should make clear that I have no problem with organized religion, as long as people keep it to themselves and don't try to convert or preach to me (or anyone else who's not interested, for that matter). The first was pretty much fine, aside from a brief incident with his huge RV taking up eight parking spots and him not wanting to move it.

The other two rooms were for another guy, his wife, and their five children. I put the two rooms next to each other. They check in, and the children are fine, quiet, the wife is polite, and the guy is kind of a jerk. The wife tells him they need to go buy toothpaste. He tells her, no, they have here, and then tells me "we need two tubes of toothpaste." No please, just an order, and my instant dislike of this guy is formed. Which is only amplified when he calls down five minutes later.

It seems their tub is dirty and he can't take a "nice long soak" the way he wanted to. First of all, ew. No matter how nice the hotel, I would never, ever take a bath in a place where thousands of other people have bathed. (Though I am a bit of a germophobe) I offer to move them. He asks if the new room is near his children. It's down the hall. In that case, no, he doesn't want to move. I offer to move the kids too - no. What he wants is for me to make a note for the morning person so he can get some money off his bill.

Now, he is already getting a discount, because rates for kings were raised tonight. But I knew he'd make a big fuss about paying more for his king than his kids' double room, so I kept them the same rate. Now he wants MORE off? I don't think so! So I made a note for the morning person (which is me, btw - HA) - 327 complained of dirty tub 5 min after C/I but didn't want to move. He is NOT getting money taken off.

My manager (who lives in the hotel) wanders by after I check this guy in, and I tell him the story. He tells me the first guy seemed like a douche - when he went out (in street clothes) to tell him he couldn't take up eight spots, he got a very snotty "Do you work here?" Yes, douche, he does. The douche then asked me if my manager works here. Yes, he does.

We discuss for a minute how un-missionary-like these people seem. Then, a thought hits me. I say to my manager, "Hey maybe they're like pastors for those big churches that steal from people. You know what I mean?"

He frowns for a minute, then his eyes light up with recognition. "Yes! Like con artists! They totally are."

They totally are. The second family's last name is "Loving".