Thanks For Staying, Don't Come Back

Yesterday I encountered what was by far the most obnoxious guest I have ever met. My first interaction with her was when she called the front desk at about 8 in the morning, saying her TV had just gone out. Having little knowledge of the inner workings of televisions myself, I told her that maintenance would be in in a few hours and I would send him up. Not the best solution, I admit, but there was nothing else I could do. I certainly wasn't transferring her so she could mess up another room and check out an hour later.

After hearing this, the woman heaves a giant sigh. "That's all you can do? I'm coming down there." Fine, whatever. I look up her reservation before she comes down - the day previous, my manager had written that she complained about finding one bug in her room, the refrigerator not working, and various other problems. He had then comped her room for one night of her two-night stay. Oh great, this was going to be fun.

Right after she called the front desk, our houseman, J, arrived. Hearing about the TV problem in her room, he offers to go up right away and check on it. A few minutes later he comes back down. Now the televisions in the room are satellite, and we had a huge but brief storm coming down outside. J tells me it's the weather, and he can't fix it. Then the woman comes down.

I tell her the problem is the weather. She retorts that people come to hotels to get away from problems like this, and she would accept the TV not working at home, but not here. Jeez, lady, hotels aren't infallible. I say to her, very politely and with an apologetic smile, "I'm sorry, ma'am, but we can't control the weather." In retrospect, perhaps not the wisest thing to say, but seriously, what did she want me to do? I can't make the rain stop.

She asks if we're comping anyone else for this MAJOR inconvenience (probably wanting to make sure no one's getting more comps than she is) and I tell her no one else has complained. Which is completely true. She stares at me in disbelief, then says she wants to speak to the manager. I tell her that he's not in yet and she flounces off to get breakfast.

She comes back from breakfast with various items on her plate, and complains that there was no selection and there's nothing left to eat. I ask her if she's spoken to the breakfast attendant, who can probably assist her, and she says she did and there's nothing she can do. Now, if this woman wasn't being such a pain in the ass, and if she wasn't so clearly LOOKING for reasons to complain and get another night comped, I probably would have gone into the kitchen to get her something. But she is, so I didn't. Instead I smile and again offer my apologies. That's not good enough for the woman. "Where am I supposed to get my protein for?!?" she demands. "There's nothing left!" Really? She had plenty of food on her plate, and honestly, this woman could stand to eat a little less at breakfast. She went upstairs, and - miracle of miracles - the TV was back on.

She complained later to my manager that I was rude to her. Now the GM was standing there during part of our conversation. He decided not to tell her he was the GM, since he didn't want to deal with her, but he told my manager I was NOT rude to her. Honestly, my manager was a little rude to her - he told me he doesn't care if she comes back, since "we don't need people like that staying here". Ha, love it.

She then told us she needed a late check-out. Check-out is at noon, we can give people til one-thirty if they ask. She tells my manager "I don't know what time I'm leaving" but definitely not before one-thirty. She then checks out at 11:57 AM. Good riddance, don't come back.