Ma'am

This person is probably the biggest psycho I have met in my short hotel career. This is a very long story, so I'll just hit my favorite highlight right now.

Me: "Ma'am-"
Guest: "Don't call me that! My name's not 'ma'am'. Is your name 'ma'am'?
Me: No.

I continued to call her 'ma'am' for the rest of the phone call. I didn't think she'd like my alternative choice any better.

Bedding Cycles

I don't know what it is with people and the telephone. We get so many weirdos. Case in point:

Caller: I wanted to know the last time your rooms were renovated.

Me: Five years ago, ma'am. The hotel was completely gutted, everything rebuilt.

Caller: So the bedding in your rooms is five years old?

Me: Umm...the age of the bedding would vary by room. Bedding is replaced as needed.

Caller: But the furniture is five years old.

Me: Yes.

Caller: Okay. How long are those bedding cycles?

Me: (long pause) I don't know. I would have to check with housekeeping.

Did she seriously expect me to know the answer to that question?